Impressed.

I love McDonald's. Not for the quality of their food, no, but for their efficiency and convenience. And who can resist a Mackers brekkie whenever they can?

And so a week ago, because D and I stayed up to watch brainless Taiwanese variety shows all night, we ordered Mackers online at about 5am. Just because we can. It was yummy; hot, sinful junk food delivered right to our doorstep at wee hours of the morning. However, yesterday afternoon, as I was doing some internet banking, I discovered that the breakfast we had cost me three times as much. The amount was credited from my account two times more than required. Intensely disturbed, I called my bank but they couldn't help because the amount had already been transferred to McDonald's, so I had to go to them instead.

Because it was a Sunday, I only had the delivery hotline to call and the only two options I had was to press 1 for New Order or 2 for Web Enquiry. Naturally, I pressed 2. The guy who picked up the phone was impatient. Instead of listening to me describe the rather long-winded situation first, he asked twice if I had wanted to make an order. However, after I got my point across, he became very helpful. He asked for my mobile number, as well as a separate contact number just in case I couldn't be reached, so that he could check with the higher-ups. He called back less than 10 minutes later to tell me that they would do a refund on Monday.

Now I was pretty satisfied at how prompt they were, but nothing impressed me more than this email I received from McDonald's today:

Hi Ms. XXX,

Thank you for your feedback on 12th Oct 08 to our McDelivery Call Centre
with regard to a charge to your credit card for a McDelivery 24/7 web order
dated 5th Oct 08.

Our investigations show that your credit card has been incorrectly charged
for a McDelivery 24/7 web order that was not completed due to an unforeseen
technical glitch. We sincerely apologise for the error and has taken
immediate steps to ensure this is corrected.

Instructions have been given to your bank to reverse the charges. This
reversal will take effect within 2 weeks from 13th Oct and should appear in
your next credit card statement.

Once again, we apologise for the error and inconvenience caused.

Your Sincerely,
XXX (Ms)
McDelivery Consultant


I mean, McDelivery Consultant? Anyway, it's been a while since I've received such an (almost) perfectly worded email, so much so that I felt it actually warranted a post. I've been too lazy to blog about much else these days, and I apologise.

Sabo-ed.

This is my latest indulgence:


It's been more than a month since I walked into the Thomas Sabo store at Raffles City and went mad salivating at the trays of charms before me. I picked the plane and the cat after much thought; D set me straight about the fact that I should choose the charms that represent something I really care about, and that helped with zooming in on specific ones.

I've promised myself that I will get a new charm every month, just so I can look forward to something, since the figure on my payslip isn't worth hooting about. It's about time for my next one. Guess what it's gonna be?

Little Caramel

I was at the coffeeshop at the corner of the street where my office is, minding my own business and buying my morning tea, when suddenly, I heard a distinctive meow coming from under one of the tables by the road. A caramel kitten was pawing at the guy's feet, and he was unceremoniously pushing the kitten away with his foot.

I turned away, trying to ignore what I was seeing. Then from the corner of my eye, I saw one of the stallholders moving towards the kitten with a plastic bag in his hand. Suspecting the worst but not wanting to react too soon, I waited silently from where I stood. I couldn't see what the man was doing, but when he finally walked off, his plastic bag was empty. The cat must have run off in fright. Then it occurred to me that we were by the side of the road, where there were many cars parked.

I ran to the nearest car, which was just about to drive off, and banged loudly on the door to alert the driver. He looked at me in horror but I didn't have time to be politically correct. I looked down, and there the kitten was, hiding in front of one of the wheels. I coaxed the kitten out from its hiding place, which took forever, and carried it against my chest. I then retrieved my tea and walked off with the meowing kitten back to my office, aware that there were at least ten pairs of eyes boring down my back.

Little Caramel is probably between five to seven weeks old, sex undetermined as yet, has a stubby tail, and has a very distinctive meow. Email me immediately if you'd like to bring Baby home. It's the most adorable thing and I'd really hate to bring it to the SPCA. Take this as a very earnest plea.

Parasitic Males

At work today, I was reading an article in wiki about sexual dimorphism (don't ask), and this particular bit had me in stitches:

"Some species of anglerfish also display extreme sexual dimorphism. Females are typical anglerfish, while males are tiny rudimentary creatures with no digestive systems. The males must find a female and fuse with her – he then lives parasitically, becoming little more than a sperm-producing body."

I don't know why, but that passage reminded me of a certain species of mammals too.

I'm shocked!

Okay... so it's true. Edison Chen has a small dick and female Hong Kong stars don't shave.

I'm utterly, utterly disappointed.

Be still, my heart.

OMG, I want.
I don't need it, can't afford it, but I LoVe it.
Anyone got $800 to spare?

Your Royal Geek-Chic-ness.

I went into the office this morning and turned on the rickety eMac that is now my work companion. The monitor let off an audible zap, and as the screen buzzed into view, I noticed that it has shrunk to 2/3 of its original size. There was just a black screen where the dock used to be, and there was very visible static that rendered whatever screen that was left unusable. My eyes hurt just looking at the screen.

So I Googled and found out that it was a known problem of the eMac, called the eMac raster shift problem. So I could only sit at my desk and wait for the boss to come in, fantasizing about not having to work until it gets fixed. Meanwhile, I just casually mentioned it to my colleague who had just walked in.

"Oh yeah, this has happened before to the previous user. Dunno what's wrong. Might have to repair it."
"It's apparently called the raster shift problem. Something to do with a video cable inside."
"You're such a geek, you know. How did you know?"
"What? I Googled for it!"
"Yeah. But you actually knew what to Google for. Geek."

Looks like I had an upgrade.

Yayee!

A month ago, I received an email from Mr Richard Nash, the Editorial Director of Soft Skull Press. I thought it was just another fan-mail (*roll eyes). I was wrong.

It was way better!

"So, while we can’t send you all of Nigella Lawson's book, I was wondering if you might like a copy of Mari Akasaka’s VIBRATOR, since I see you like Banana Yoshimoto...? If so, could I get your mailing address?"

I replied with a rather lengthy email that could be summarized as something along the lines of "Hell, yeah!" One can only try that hard to play hard to get.

Last week, a really impatient postman rang, knocked and hollered outside my door as I hurriedly got dressed to greet him. I took the suspiciously thick package from his hands and thought: This can't be one book. I ripped the package open with the tip of my tongue peeping gleefully out of the corner of my mouth.

Thank you, Mr Nash, you horribly generous man. I can't wait to start on the three books you've sent me.

Cats and Writers

A novelist and a publisher after my own heart.

Famous writers who loved Cats:

1. Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain)
2. Ernest Hemingway (with one 'm')
3. Aldous Huxley
4. Charles Dickens
5. C. S. Lewis
6. William Shakespeare
7. Kingsley Amis
8. Sir Walter Scott

Well...

And so I did the test that is apparently on everyone's blog now and here's my results:

Your Score: ellipsis

You scored 38% Sociability and 64% Sophistication!

I won't bore you with the details. 38% Sociability, huh? *shrug* I've always known that I was a little anti-social, just not 62%. As for being an ellipsis, well, not that I'm not a great conversationalist. It's just that, sometimes, what is left out can be as important, if not more, that what is said...

What? No "Let's apply for a flat, darling"?

All that work to communicate those four words, just for a sweet reply of that three-lettered word. You men know that this is an instructional video, right?

Read Book 7 in less than an hour.

Spoilers, lolcat-speak, grammer errors, and film-geek references, but he totally, fucking nailed it. Read it if you don't intend to get the book. In fact, read it especially after you've finished the book.


Excerpt:

A few days pass, and the Weasleys busy themselves in preparation for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Ron, Harry and Hermione barely have time to discuss their plans for Horcrux hunting, but finally Harry gets them alone.

Harry: I've been thinking and--

Ron: You think it's too dangerous.

Hermione: And we shouldn't come along.

Harry: How did you know that?

Hermione: Harry, you're a good guy, but as characters go you're kinda predictable. And anyways, we are going.

Ron: Yeah, we've made preparations and everything. I've bewitched the ghoul who lives in the attic to look like me with spattergroit, so if anyone wonders why I'm not at school my parents will have something to say.

Hermione: And I used a memory charm on my parents.

Harry: Whut?

Hermione: I altered their memories so they think they're a retired couple with no children who are moving to Australia to live.

Harry: Whut?

Ron: Wow, Hermione, that is fucking hardcore.

Hermione: Just call me John Holmes, bitch.

The Old Man

You can't see me, but I'm always around you.
Run as fast as you can, but you'll never escape me.
Fight me with all your strength, but you'll never defeat me.
I kill when I wish, but can never be brought to justice. Who am I?

Love poem from a nerd.

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All My Base Are Belong To You.

If you didn't get it, congratulations. You are cool.

One, two, three!!

Happy Blogiversary, Blog!

(*throws confetti in the air)

Anyone?

All for a vase.

My cousin's holding a birthday party at my place today, and being the lovely older cousin that I am, I am donating my vodka collection to him. Contents only.

I love my Absolut. No no, I don't drink them. It's kinda wasted, really. Alcohol and I just don't get along. So I just keep the pretty bottles. I have all but one, the trophies of my travels. I don't know why Duty Free doesn't carry Absolut Peppar.

I even managed to get Absolut BlingBling a few trips ago.


I know it's silly that I buy all these Absoluts and have no use for them. But... but... I have always fantasized that when I have a place of my own I can do this:

Isn't it pretty?

However, what I'm Absolutly coveting now is... Absolut 100 Black. Gorgeous and only available to the travel market. I chose to get the new Absolut Pears over this one because of the price. Well I guess that's what you pay for premium. Next trip. I know the next trip, I'll be tempted.

Couch potato

First, it was CSI.
Now, it's House.

I think I love watching bad acting and listening to bad dialogue and not understanding a single word the characters rattle off from their mouths (I suspect they only say those terms so quickly because they can't really pronounce it).

Damn I gotta stay away from AXN.

I IZ ADDIKTED.

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

LOLCATS are too cute. The language takes some figuring out, but you'll get the hang of it.


kthxbai.

The Dove Self-Esteem Fund

Every girl deserves to feel beautiful the way she is.

Watch the film