Friday, January 02, 2009

The Rain Drops.

I’ve been putting off the really dreary task of writing the Here-are-my-New-Year’s-Resolutions post. It’s now the second day of the new year, and I haven’t even given my would-be resolutions much thought.

As a teen, and maybe even during my early 20s, this period has always been the most exciting time of the year. Christmas, then the New Year, and then the Chinese New Year… it meant lots of holidays, lots of friends, lots of parties, lots of happiness. However, as I grew older, and as each year segues into another as seamlessly as rain into a river, these festivities seem less celebratory.

I may have, consciously or unconsciously, caused some heartache to those who love me this past year, but that’s not to say that those whom I love have not been responsible for my own anguish or insecurities. I’ve learnt a lot in 2008 about trust, maintaining a relationship, and the strength of familial ties. This may sound like a cliché, but your family may be the only ones who will accept you for who you are. I’ve also discovered my own strengths and, mostly, weaknesses. Some of them, I’m not proud of, but I have to say I am learning to deal with things my own way.

I could list 10 items I’d like to do in 2009, but I know the only time I’ll refer to it again is in a year’s time. So if I could only have one wish for this new, trying time in my life, it would be for peace. Peace within me. That may be the only way I, or anyone, can find happiness without depending on, or at the expense of, another person.

Here it is, my obligatory New Year’s post for my blog in retrospective.

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smudgi3 @ 4:20:00 pm | | |