Thursday, July 29, 2004

Wear a mask. It's infectious.

These few weeks have been frustrating for me. Well, every teeny thing would be frustrating to you if you were an analyser. I like to grab a situation by its neck, sit it down handcuffed on my couch, tear its clothes out and get to the stark nakedness of reality. Kinky huh. Actually no, the process is so Tayloristic it's boring. I like to break things down into small digestable nibblets and analyse, analyse, analyse. You see, there has to be an explanation for everything. (At this point, C would go "Aiyah, Virgo what")

But I've just about had it up to here. It's bad enough that I have a screwed up life. It's even worse watching your friends screw theirs up. It's worst when it's all happening at the same time. It's a freaking chain reaction. A broke up with bf. C broke up with bf. E wants to divorce husband. H and L broke up. J broke up with bf. Aaaargh! How would you feel, sitting in front of your silver HP LCD (sexy hor!), watching, jaw to the floor, as your friends relate their disintegrating lives on yahoo and msn? At the same time? I'm no lung-rotter, but at that moment, all I wanted to do was grab a fag, sit at my balcony and develop frown lines on my forehead. Not so because I think smoking solves things, but because isn't that what people do when they're really stressed? Better than sitting like blow-up doll Annie in front of your com screen.

Well frankly, I do have a sound explanation for all the 'malfunctions' mentioned above, being the woman of the world I am (clears throat). All arguments, breakups and divorces boil down to one very corny song : People don't know what they want, what they really really want. (Shit now I can't get that song outta my head. Shit that's another song!) No seriously.

People confused. People play mind games. People get hurt. People get addicted to pain. People play more games. People get more confused. And it goes on. It's vicious, like a stomach flu virus. You puke, you shit, you pour disgusting, unidentifiable stuff down your throat, you puke it out, and you shit some more. (shivers with the memory) And it's freaking contagious!

Yeah I know what it's all about. Been there, done that, got the free T-shirt. We know it hurts and it's stupid, but we all love to roll around in a pit of mud and self pity. But really, we all need to fall really low before we can find the steady ground to spring back up again. For the benefit of all my friends who could be reading this, let me end on an optimistic note. All this toxin flushing is bad, but it's good too. If there's no end to a bad thing, there wouldn't be a chance for any good beginning, would there? Ah, see now. I'm confusing myself. No worries, I'll go play some sadistic, self-satisfying mind games first. (Rubs hands with glee)

Scrabble, anyone? =D




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smudgi3 @ 2:30:00 pm | | |