Want to upsize?

I've been doing things in large scales lately - sleeping really late, waking up even later, eating alot, watching alot of tv, being online for hours, buying stuff excessively... living life to the fullest, so it seems. It seems to be something to be envious about, if not for the sinister reason behind this lifestyle : My exams are looming near.

At the start of next week, I would be going to school 4 days a week, and having intensive revision for 6 subjects. It sounds really innocuous, except that I haven't been doing that for the last 2 years. School had always been twice a week, and I only had to struggle with 4 subjects each year. It's now my final year, I have 6 subjects to clear, and as of now, a few minutes to 18 March, I've only understood a quarter of my entire syllabus.

And I'm really worried. No one would understand how worried I am about the fact that I'm not doing anything about it at all. In fact, my mum's planning a trip to Perth/Hong Kong, whichever is cheaper. And right before my exams too! While others in my course have probably written mountains of essays and done lots of practice, I haven't done any piece of research whatsoever - and I really do expect to pass this year!

You see why I'm worried? I'm scared. Really frightened of the exams. I'm so afraid that I would fail every paper and singlehandedly cause my mum a heart failure. My dad wouldn't take it too hard ("You can always be a flight stewardess.") but my mum would probably commit murder if I failed (again). Yes, I admit. I'm a scaredy cat.

• I'm scared to go for class because I think I'm the only one who doesn't know what is going on.
• I'm scared to open up my notes and study because I might not understand what was on it.

There. I've found my excuses. But my exams are only 2 months away. (gulp) I need help.