Fighting on

I must not be left alone. I cannot be alone with my thoughts. My mind brings me to places I never want to visit. It scares me. I don't know a world like that. And I can't stop crying.

I need to stay occupied. I go to work, even though brainless work isn't any consolation. I make silly jokes, even though I have no reason to laugh nowadays. But my mind cannot stop moving, because when it does, I am transported. I need someone to tug at my fingers to pull me back. But what happens when I lay my head down on my pillow to sleep?

How do you start preparing to fight a losing battle?

I keep chanting to myself:
No news is good news.
No news is good news.
No news is good news.