Dissipated

I woke up in bliss this morning but after my bath, the thorny feelers of a mindnumbing headache crept into my head. The migraines are back.

I shuffled into work, head pounding, stomach churning, juices flowing, only to find an empty office. I sat down gingerly, listening as my desktop stirred to life, and switched on the stereo. A series of smses came in - work to do. As I pulled out the documents on my pc, the throbbing at the temples of my forehead spread all the way to the front and I temporarily blacked out. I ran down the steps to the bathroom as fast as I could, as I felt a wave of nausea ride up my stomach and forced its way out my throat. Numb. From brains to toes.

Back at my desk, I stared at the tabs of windows at my taskbar. Nothing worth looking foward to. Music was playing, but the silence was deafening. I knew what was coming. Whenever I hear the vacuum in my ear, hidden, unwanted thoughts would escape into the void the vacuum created and invade my sanctuary, one that I fought hard to maintain. I have so far managed to block out the events that have happened around my birthday. The pounding head, together with the pulsating beats from the stereo, proved to be fertile grounds for such disturbing thoughts to form.

I do not want to revisit those memories.

I searched desperately for another lifeform. A passing car, a neighbour... anything. Then, like an answered prayer, an orange tab blinked cheerfully on my screen. I scrambled to the keyboard like a hungry beggar, my fingers tripping over one another.